Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Teller Asks Bank Robber To Show Two Forms Of ID For The Cash - He Does

"Look if you don’t want to die then you should do as this note says. This is not a bag of food. This is a bom, so just put money in an envelope and do not make any move till after I have left for ten mintis."

Nathan Wayne Pugh didn't intend to take money out of the bank legally, but he did wait around long enough to show two forms of identification before he tried to rob a Wells Fargo Bank branch in Dallas. 
 When Pugh, 49, tried to rob the bank last July, the teller stalled and told him he needed to show two types of ID. Pugh complied, producing his Wells Fargo debit card, and his Texas state ID card.
He still tried to flee with $800, but got caught.

Pugh pleaded guilty to the robbery in October.  A federal judge Tuesday sentenced him to more than eight years. Prosecutors say he was on parole for two aggravated robberies at the time of the Wells Fargo caper.

His new sentence runs consecutive with a pair of 25-year terms for the previous robberies. 
 

Tetris The Movie Will Soon Be Coming To A Theater Near You

Next will be a long piece :(

Threshold Entertainment has teamed up with the Tetris Company to develop a live-action film based on the game. While no directors or cast are attached to the film yet, there is a story in place.

“It’s a very big, epic sci-fi movie,” Threshold’s CEO Larry Kasanoff tells Speakeasy exclusively. “This isn’t a movie with a bunch of lines running around the page. We’re not giving feet to the geometric shapes.”

Kasanoff’s best known for adapting the “Mortal Kombat” games to the big screen – 1995’s “Mortal Kombat” grossed $70 million according to Boxoffice Mojo, with the 1997 sequel, “Mortal Kombat: Annihilation,” grossing $35 million. For Threshold, they’re hoping to build off the brand’s notoriety and legacy.

Read more HERE 

Monday, September 29, 2014

The Great Vermont Pumpkin - 1,649 Pounds Of Great Pumpkin


A Jericho farmer has broken the record for the state's largest pumpkin.

The Vermont Giant Pumpkin Growers' Association Annual Giant Pumpkin Weigh off took place at Sam Mazza's Farm stand in Colchester Sunday. Richard Squires mixed a little TLC with his giant pumpkin seeds to grow a pumpkin weighing in at 1,649 pounds. The previous state record was 1,556 pounds.




"It started as a hobby about five years ago and has grown.  And you get kind of obsessed with it and want to do it a little bigger every year, so this is probably as big as I'm ever going to get," Squires said.

His wife will be carving the pumpkins for Halloween and then donating the seeds to be used to grow more giant pumpkins. But he will not be making any pumpkin pies. The record-setting fruit is 75 percent hollow.

Watch video HERE

Sunday, September 28, 2014

Man Pays Past Due Fine With Casino Winnings Just As Police Were About To Arrest Him


According to ABC, on Thursday, police in Germany said that they were in the Western city of Bochum, where they were doing routine checks at an arcade. They said they found a man there, playing a slot machine, and he had an arrest warrant.

The warrant was issued because of a previous incident the man had with police. In that incident, police say that the man was resisting them. Police informed the man that he had two options. They told him he could pay his fine, which was around $900, or he could be arrested and face 71 days in jail. The man didn't have enough money on him to pay the fine, but he continued playing the slot machine while the cops were talking to him. In the middle of the conversation, the slot machine started to flash and make sounds, indicating that the man had won a jackpot. The man ended up winning around $1,300 in cash. The 37-year-old was able to pay his fine on the spot, and he used the cash that he had just won. He was not arrested.

Saturday, September 27, 2014

Belgium Beer Pipeline In The Works


The Bruges city council just approved plans to install a beer pipeline under the northern Belgian city. Yes, you read that right – a beer pipeline.

The 1.86 mile (3 km) long tunnel will run beneath the city streets and funnel 6,000 liters of beer per hour from the brewery Brouwerij De Halve Maan to an offsite bottling facility, CityLab reports. The purpose? To reduce traffic and help the environment by taking about 500 delivery trucks off the streets, according to The Drinks Business.

TIME

The Caturday Report! Matt The Cat Put In Box And Dumped On A Road Saved From Certain Death


And your sad cat picture of the day is...





Let’s just all take a moment to question who would force a naked cat to pose next to a pile of his own hair AND go to the extent of cutting out creepy eyes for said pile of hair.

Matt the cat was shaved after being found dumped by the side of the road in a box close to death.

Horrified vets rushed the poorly Persian into theatre at Well Animal Clinic in north London where he was sedated and two carrier bags worth of matted fur were removed from his body – which, helped saved his life, but left him looking sad, cold and naked.

Poor Matt.

He also had to have a broken jaw repaired and most of his teeth removed as they were rotting away. Massive sad face.

The abandoned moggy has now made a full recovery (and wears a little jumper to keep snug) and has been adopted by the vet who worked on him, but we can only hope he isn’t made to lie next to the weird human-looking cloud ever again because it will remind him of sadder times.

METRO

Friday, September 26, 2014

X-Rays Show Man's Body Filled With Tape Worms From Eating Sushi


A Chinese man going to a doctor complaining of stomach aches and itchy skin was horrified to learn his body had become riddled with disgusting tapeworms, according to various international reports.

A doctor at a hospital in Guangzhou told the website ThatsMags.com the man was likely suffering from cysticercosis, which occurs when tapeworms enter a person's bloodstream. It can be fatal if the tapeworms reach the brain.

The man told doctors he'd consumed sashimi (raw fish sliced into thin pieces) recently and it's believed the fish was contaminated with tapeworm eggs.

Several X-rays of the patient, appearing on the website hk.on.cc, show the man's body filled with the tiny parasites.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Walmart Madness #154! Texts From Walmart Cause Murderer To Confess His Crime

The bizarre story of a man who drove cross-country this June to confess to murdering a woman and dumping her body in a river in 1997. Matthew Gibson, 55, was driven to confess after he got texts and calls from Walmart about prescriptions for Anita Townshed. He thought Townshed was the woman he killed.

Per the Observer:
Gibson ... thought someone knew about the murder ... and was toying with him. [He] told the detective that he began receiving text messages and voicemails from Walmart telling an Anita Townshed that her prescription was ready. ...
Gibson later received an envelope with a Walmart advertisement in it but no return name or address. He felt someone was monitoring his calls, he said.
Gibson's conclusion: Townshed must have been the woman he killed. Now he felt someone might have put "a contract on his head."
"In his own mind … somebody knew what happened after all these years," [Detective Alicia] Marquez said.

From GAWKER

Read the whole story over at Charlotte Observer

Mom Bakes Vagina Cookies For 2nd Graders, Goes Into A Rage When Teacher Doesn't Accept Them


This story comes from Reddit's TIFU SubReddit:

"I am currently a second grade teacher at a public school. I have a wonderful class and I like to reward them when they have a good week by having volunteer parents bring in snacks (I.E. cookies, candy, granola etc.) provided the parent keeps them hypoallergenic. This week our volunteer parent, who we will refer to as Autumn Lily Speaker (not far from her actual name) told me on Wednesday that she will be preparing cookies for the class and is 'excited for this opportunity'. Thinking nothing of it, I thanked her and marked it off my weekly to-do list.

So Friday rolls around and the kids are excited. Autumn Lily Speaker comes into the classroom with a pan full of treats and brings them to me and says with a smile "I decided you can use these to teach the kids about the woman's vagina today". Baffled and completely caught off guard I slowly peel the aluminum foil off the pan to behold a plethora of sugar cookie and frosting vaginas. Not just any old vagina, but ALL KINDS OF VAGINAS. There were small, puffy, white, brown, shaved, bald, and even a fire crotch with beef curtains. perplexed I give the parent the most professional look I can muster and quietly reply "I'm sorry Autumn, but I can't give these to my students. This just isn't appropriate."

cue angry radical feminist

Autumn bursts with the fury of a thousand angry Andrea Dworkin's and starts yelling in front of the class about how 'I should be proud of my vagina' and 'I am settling for a women's role in life'. Utterly bemused and frozen from shock all I can do is stand and stare at the woman as the word 'vagina' is yelled in front of my second grade class about 987,000 times. Finally after what seemed like an eternity, she storms out of the class leaving her vagina cookies on my desk. I scramble to collect my thoughts and take control of the situation before my second graders develop vaginal PTSD. My only thought is to scrape off the vagina frosting and hand out the plain sugar cookies to my students.

The rest of my day went quite well and ended without a incident. I sent my kiddos home and started wrapping up work and getting ready to leave when the phone rings and a bewildered parent wants to know why their son learned the word 'vagina' in class today I answer the best I can explaining the situation in the most professional manner possible. I get about 3 more phone calls and 4 emails until I get it, the mother of all emails... Autumn's."

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Police Visit The Homes Of Hundreds Of Pervs To Confiscate Camera Shoes

Pictured,  one of the sneaky pervert shoes.  Note the tiny camera lens.

Police said they believe they have collected nearly all pairs of the shoes in Kyoto Prefecture, save for some said to have been thrown away. The customers were asked to surrender the shoes and fill out a "disposal request" that asked them to state why they purchased them.

Police said the company, which also sold camera supplies, had sold about 2,500 pairs of tosatsu shoes between 2012 and 2014. A 26-year-old company manager was charged with "aiding voyeurism," a violation of the nuisance prevention ordinance, and fined about $4,500.

Kyoto police said they are sharing data on customers outside of their jurisdiction with other law enforcement agencies and urging police in other areas to visit the homes of those buyers.


1st RULE: You do not talk about TODDLER DAYCARE FIGHT CLUB. 2nd RULE: You DO NOT talk about TODDLER DAYCARE FIGHT CLUB.

(One of the daycare decorations)

Three daycare workers in Delaware are accused of ordering toddlers to fight each other at the centre so they could watch.

Dover police said a cellphone video showed the female employees encouraging the three-year-old children to punch each other.

In the video, police said a child is heard crying and yells, "He's pinching me," before a daycare worker says, "No pinching. Only punching."

"Clearly one of the children is crying and does not want to continue on and he is pushed back into the fray by one of the adults," Capt. Tim Stump told CBS Philly of the footage taken in March.

Police did not release the video.

The employees from the Hands of Our Future Daycare have been arrested and the business licence of the daycare has been suspended.

Tiana Harris, 19, Estefania Myers, 21, and Lisa Parker, 47, are charged with assault, reckless endangerment, conspiracy and endangering the welfare of a child.

SOURCE

Monday, September 22, 2014

Ferrari 458 Recalled Because People Cannot Escape From The Trunk

Muffled screams were heard coming from this Ferrari.

"The Ferrari 458 is, as sports cars go, about as good as it gets. Unless, of course, you happen to be a person trapped in its trunk. In that case, it sucks.

First, because that can’t be very comfortable. Second, because, the internal trunk release may not work, meaning that, per NHTSA, “In the event an individual is trapped in the trunk and the latch system does not release the trunk lid, it increases the risk of personal injury or possibly death.”

This is, of course, a sub-optimal outcome for your second passenger/kidnap victim/etc. Therefore, a number of 458s have now been recalled.

Note, however, that the recall notice only states that the issue occurs when the car is stationary.
Presumably then, when in motion, you can successfully release the trunk from the inside, allowing for a full Mannix-grade escape-and-roll from the speeding Ferrari."

ROADANDTRACK

Woman Gets And Extra Boob Implanted, Now She Has Three!

(I need to know if it has a nipple or not for some reason)

Jasmine Tridevil, 21, saved up for two years before finding a plastic surgeon willing to carry out the operation.

She told a local radio station more than 50 doctors turned her down before a surgeon - who has not been named - agreed to the job.



The third breast was made from a silicone implant and skin tissue from her abdomen.

She said: "It was really hard finding someone that would do it, too, because they’re breaking the code of ethic.

"I called like 50 or 60 doctors - nobody wanted to do it."


 


542 Batmen Decend Upon The City Of Calgary, Watch Out For The Guano Piles!

(Things are looking a little batty around there)

More than 500 employees dressed head-to-foot as Batman gathered outside the headquarters of Nexen, an oil and gas company, in order to raise money for charity and break a world record in the process.

The full 542 participants had their costumes inspected by a Guinness Book of World Records staffer who, after ensuring they all stood together for five minutes, pronounced the group the official world record holders of the title: “Largest Gathering of People Dress As Batman."

SOURCE



Saturday, September 20, 2014

The Caturday Report! Hotel Burns And Collapses, Cat Emerges From The Rubble Unscathed

(That had to count for at least two of the cat's life's I would imagine)

NOTE:  At 17 seconds into the video you can spot the cat in the window to the left!

"Talk about a daring escape! A cat scrambled out of a burning hotel in Dauphin, Man., as the building crashed to the ground.":




Friday, September 19, 2014

Walmart Madness #153! Cock Fight Staged In Mexican Walmart


Walmart de Mexico SAB is being investigated after local shoppers complained a store in Boca del Rio held a cockfight to promote a soda company.

The Walmex spokesman told Bloomberg it's all a misunderstanding because the roosters weren't armed with blades, there was no betting and the birds weren't harmed.

"It wasn't a cockfight," Antonio Ocaranza said. "There wasn't anything that would be in violation of any game regulations."

Customers posted photos on social media of the Sept. 15 promotion, which was staged by a local soda company.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Protip! Don't Wash Your Hair With Mayonnaise In A Public Fountain

(I hope he at least used REAL mayonnaise)

One man was arrested for using mayonnaise to wash himself in a public fountain.

Oklahoma City police say they received complaints about the man who was said to be bathing at Reno and Mickey Mantle.

Officers reported finding Jorge Arturo Perez, 23, soaking wet and breathing hard in the city fountain.

Perez told the police he was taking a bath in the fountain and was washing his hair with mayonnaise.
The officer told him a city ordinance prohibited him from bathing in the fountains and canal.

According to police, Perez was arrested and taken to jail.

SOURCE 

Six Sentenced To 91 Whip Lashes And Six Months In Prison For Dancing To The Song "Happy" In A Video


While the sentence is a suspended sentence, Iranian authorities reportedly can impose it anytime within the next three years.

The video shows the group of men and unveiled women dancing on rooftops in Tehran to Williams's hit song.

Following their arrests earlier this year, the group appeared on Iranian state-run TV, admitting that what they did was wrong and said the video was not meant to be posted online. "They had promised us not to publish the video," one of the young women arrested said on the show.

News of their arrest sparked international outrage on social media, with Williams himself pleading for their release via his Twitter account.

“Fortunately, the sentences were suspended,” the group’s lawyer, Farshid Rofugaran told IranWire.

“A suspended sentence becomes null and void after a certain period of time,” Rofugaran said. “When it’s a suspended sentence, the verdict is not carried out, but if during this period a similar offense is committed, then the accused is subject to legal punishment and the suspended sentence will then be carried out as well.”

SOURCE

Man Tries To Give Severed Human Head To Neighbor. Neighbor Doesn't Want It.


A Memphis man is behind bars tonight after he allegedly attempted to dispose of a human head by placing it in a bag of scrap metal and giving it to his neighbor.

Michael Wilson Jr. was giving a neighbor some scrap metal to get it off his hands, and suddenly a severed human head fell out of one of the bags. The friend, Lacedric Ruffin, was horrified at the sight and called the cops after Wilson, who is schizophrenic according to other neighbors, pleaded with Ruffin to keep him it a secret, telling him he actually didn’t mean to kill the guy.

 Cops also reportedly found severed hands, a decomposed leg, and the corpse inside Wilson’s home.

Wilson is charged with second-degree murder and abuse of a corpse, and is currently behind bars on $2 million bond.

See the video HERE

Armpit Hair Fire Causes Horrendous Crash

Teens,  please don't set drivers armpit hair on fire.

"The crash happened at 5:30 a.m. on Columbia Road between Meridian and Linder roads. Eighteen-year-old Tristan Myers was driving when his front-seat passenger, a 16-year-old boy, set Myers' armpit hair on fire. The driver lost control of the Ford Bronco, rolling the vehicle.

Two girls in the backseat, ages 15 and 16, were thrown from the vehicle. Myers, his front-seat passenger, and a 17-year-old boy remained in the vehicle. None of the teens were wearing seatbelts, deputies say.

Three of the teenagers were taken to a local hospital with non-life threatening injuries. Myers first said he had swerved to avoid an animal in the road, but the truth emerged after deputies talked to all the teens.

Myers, who deputies say was speeding and driving erratically before the crash, was cited for inattentive driving. The lighter-wielding passenger was ticketed for interfering with the driver's safe operation of a vehicle."

SOURCE 

The Destroyer Is Reborn Unto The World


A calf born in India with a third eye in the middle of its forehead is being hailed as an incarnation of the Hindu god Shiva.

The owner of the animal, a Tamil Nadu state resident identified as Meghala, said the "miracle calf" born two weeks ago is an incarnation of Lord Shiva sent to the village to bring good luck.

Shiva, one of the primary gods in the Hindu religion, is known as the "destroyer" and bears a third eye on his forehead that opens when he gets angry to bring flames of destruction.

Hindu children have been visiting the calf to touch its head for good luck and a blessing from Shiva.



Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Manure Bomb Explodes And Covers Policeman With Poop


Police spokesman Rainer Dionisio said Constable Gunther Maier, 58, triggered a fishing line at the side of the Moelltal state highway and the line set off explosives in a nearby plastic bucket filled with manure.

Dionisio said Maier was about 6.5 feet away from the bucket when it detonated. He said the officer was covered with manure, but not injured.

The spokesman said the trap was likely designed to target police, as the spot where Maier was watching traffic is often used by officers using radar guns to monitor the speed of motorists.

Cake Attack At KFC! Suspect Sought In Heinous Cake Throw Crime


Officers responding to an assault report at a north Seattle restaurant quickly got the facts: a man walked into a KFC, hurled a store-brand cake at employees, then walked out.

Seattle police say no workers were hit by the dessert, and the suspect description was vague.

Ah, but the cake! Officer Nic Abts-Olsen wrote in his report that employees were able to provide this vivid description of the assault weapon: "The cake was described as a lemon cake, yellow in color and circular and costs exactly $5.19."

And the workers shared another concern they first voiced to dispatchers: "They can no longer sell the cake."

Police searched the area but found no suspect.

SOURCE

How To Deal With Heroin Overdose


Satanic Children's Activity Book To Be Distributed In Schools

A photo of one of the fun activities

"The Satanic Temple of New York City has been granted permission to pass out its literature to students in public schools in the Orlando, Florida, area after district officials declined to prohibit distribution of religious materials."
 
The Washington Times reported the planned effort by the Satanic Temple follows a decision to allow the distribution of Bibles and atheist materials as well.

Temple spokesman Lucien Greaves told the Times: “We think the responsible thing to do is to ensure that these students are given access to a variety of differing religious opinions, as opposed to standing idly by while one religious voice dominates the discourse and delivers propaganda to youth."

Read more at http://www.wnd.com/2014/09/1235485/#AMZvcfLb3sYmdDAA.99




Satanic Temple spokesman, Lucien Greaves, explained to Raw Story:
“[The organization] would never seek to establish a precedent of disseminating our religious materials in public schools because we believe our constitutional values are better served by respecting a strong separation of Church and State.”

“However, if a public school board is going to allow religious pamphlets and full Bibles to be distributed to students — as is the case in Orange County, Florida — we think the responsible thing to do is to ensure that these students are given access to a variety of differing religious opinions, as opposed to standing idly by while one religious voice dominates the discourse and delivers propaganda to youth.”

SALON

And here is the Satanic Children's Big Book Of Activities in PDF format:

http://thesatanictemple.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Activity_Book.pdf

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Woman Kills Herself By Jumping Into A Pit Filled With Hundreds Of Crocodiles

(Uhh,  Yeah. :( )


"Witnesses saw Wanpen Inyai jumping into a pond at Samut Prakarn Crocodile Farm and Zoo on Friday, reported The Bangkok Post. Staff failed to rescue her.

Police said they were told by family members that Ms Wanpen appeared depressed prior to her death.
Thai tourist attractions are said to often have lax safety rules.

Thai police confirmed Ms Wanpen's death on Tuesday afternoon.

According to reports, she took off her shoes before jumping into the middle of a pond said to be up to 3m deep that contained hundreds of adult crocodiles.

Staff tried to use long sticks to stop the crocodiles from attacking her, according to the Bangkok Post."

 Read more HERE and HERE


Monday, September 15, 2014

Church And Strip Club Asked To End Weekly Protests Of Each Other

(They could make the worlds first church strip club,  call it the holy spinners)

Officials in an Ohio county are asking a church and a strip club to stop their weekly protests of each other after eight years.
Coshocton Law Director Bob Skelton wrote a letter, cosigned by Coshocton County Prosecutor Jason Given and Coshocton County Sheriff Tim Rogers, last week asking Pastor Bill Dunfee of New Beginnings Ministries and Foxhole North owner Thomas George to stop their weekly protests because of their negative impact on the county's image and the strain on local law enforcement.

 George said his Sunday protests at the church were designed to call attention to the church's Friday night protests at his business and the demonstrations escalated in August when his dancers started going topless at the protests, which is legal under Ohio law.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Vibrator Made In 1893 Sells For $2,600 Dollars

Vroom vroom vroom.

"Christie's Kensington auction house in Chelsea, England, said the metal and celluloid vibrator designed by Dr. Benjamin Boyd fetched a total of $2,641 when it was auctioned Sept. 3 as part of the auctioneer's "Out of the Ordinary" sale.

The sum was about $1,100 more than the item was expected to fetch, the auction house said.
The item was listed as an "electrical instrument for medical purposes."

"Accompanying the lot is the facsimile of the United States Patent office application for the instrument," the Christie's catalogue entry for the item reads. "In the early twentieth century, stimulation with vibratory devices for the treatment of female hysteria was a common and lucrative part of many doctors' office practices."



The Columbia Womans Cycling Teams New Uniform Just LOOKS Revealing

(They should have added a belly button to the fabric I say!)

A Colombian ladies’ cycling team taking part in one of Italy’s most important cycling races has raised eyebrows for their outfit, international cycling media reported on Saturday.


The outfit of the team, sponsored by the city government of Bogota, is made of a skin-color fabric around the sportswomen’s waste and hips, curiously accentuating the cyclists’ private parts.

“How sad,” Italian cycling website Tutobiciweb headlined the article on the team’s “nude look.”
The “revealing” photo immediately became a hit on social media where the consensus seemed to be the design is “just wrong” and “a general disaster.”

SOURCE

It's not like anything like this has never happened before though:

Saturday, September 13, 2014

The Caturday Report! Joey The Cat's Strange Addiction

"What's that I hear?!"

"My cat Joey loves drinking water from his water bottle. He can be completely asleep but the moment you shake it, he's awake and running to you. Before you comment, he's NOT sick; he gets yearly check-ups and is totally healthy. I give him fresh water in a big bowl every day - this is just his favourite way to drink it!"


Friday, September 12, 2014

Burglar Falls Asleep On Bed With Bag Of Jewelry, Cops Get Good Photos

That bed was Just right I guess

"According to the Sarasota County Sheriff's Office Facebook page, a cleaning lady discovered Dion Davis on a bed inside the victim's home Monday.

Davis, 29, was snoozing next to a bag of jewelry he was allegedly planning to swipe even after deputies began snapping pictures of him.

They say he didn't even wake up when they started taking pictures.

He was passed out with a bag full of stolen jewellery next to him on the bed and didn't even notice the deputies taking pictures,' a police spokesman said.

He has been charged with burglary of an unoccupied dwelling."

SOURCE

Please Help Me Get Rid Of Burningman Girl!

Help ! She won't leave and can't accept that Burning Man is over !

Please take this girl off my hands. Her name is 'Leaf', seemed ok out there in the desert, and she helped us with our art vehicle, "The Giant Six Pack". She's on the couch, still sandy and stinky. She still has goggles on her head, which I'm pretty sure she never put over her eyes. I don't know what to do. She smoked all my weed. She has no I.D. , but is kind of cute. . . in a 'Burning Man' kind of way. BUT IT'S OVER, PLEASE HELP, IF YOU KNOW 'LEAF', EMAIL ME AND DRIVE HER TO PORTLAND OR ANYWHERE."

 
Help ! She won't leave and can't accept that Burning Man is over ! Please take this girl off my hands. Her name is 'Leaf', seemed ok out there in the desert, and she helped us with our art vehicle,...
 
sfbay.craigslist.org



Since removed from Craigslist unfortunately.  Hopefully I soon will find somewhere that saved the whole ad!

Thursday, September 11, 2014

US Helicopter Squadron Invades Poland, Stops To Ask Directions

Bloomberg reports that six U.S. army helicopters landed in a rapeseed field in northern Poland to ask for directions after veering off course on their way back from military exercises. Locals were alarmed and explained, "we know that security is the most important thing right now... But thank God it was the Americans." We wonder how long before Sikorski proclaims this an invasion and demands NATO react... 



As Bloomberg reports

Penis Shaped Gummy Mix-up Outrages Parents

Ho ho ho...

"A confectionery company is dealing with a sticky situation after penis-shaped gummy lollies made their way into some of its packs, costing the company thousands of dollars in recalls.

The company had apologised to the customers and compensated them with free lollies.

Collecting up all the bags of lollies and dumping them at the tip had cost the company thousands of dollars, Van de Geest said.

"We've done everything that could possibly have been done ... these things happen."

The manufacturer had also apologised and refunded the company some money, Van de Geest said.
The main concern now was that stockists of the company's lollies would cancel their orders as a result of the incident, he said.

"We want to put it to rest."

The lollies were not considered offensive in China, where the shape was a symbol of fertility and health. In fact, they are marketed and sold around the world as Penis Gummies."

SOURCE AND MORE

Walmart Madness #152! Yet ANOTHER Motorized Shopping Cart Escape Attempt

Vroooom  Vroom Vroom

"Police in Michigan say they arrested a shoplifting suspect following her slow-speed getaway in a $1,200 motorized wheelchair shopping cart taken from a Wal-Mart.

The Muskegon Chronicle says police located 46-year-old Shirley Mason about 2 miles away, riding the cart with $600 in clothing.

A customer called police Monday night to report someone riding a shopping cart from the lot at the store in Muskegon County’s Fruitport Township.

Police say Mason told them she couldn’t find anyone to pick her up from the store and took the wheelchair cart “because she didn’t feel like walking.”

Authorities say Mason told officers she planned to sell the clothing."

SOURCE

Online Petition To Restore The Horny Vancouver Devil To His Perch Goes Viral


The stunt was reminiscent of the recent Dude Chilling Park sign that appeared in Vancouver’s Guelph Park. Officials removed the sign, but it proved to be so popular that the city eventually relented and allowed a permanent sign to be installed in the park. Not surprisingly, it was quickly stolen. And perhaps used in a ritual sacrifice to summon the devil statue.

 From Change.org: "The City of Vancouver has long been a leader in investing in public art to beautify its legendary and illustrious landscapes. For example, its near $100,000 expenditure on a statue of a porcelain dog on Main Street in the recent past served as a reminder that the merit of art is subjective and the value of public art can't be qauntified simply in a dollar figure.

The Giant Satan-With-an-Erection statue, unlike the porcelain dog, cost the city nothing and was far more visible and likely to stir public debate than the barely visable cartoonish canine on a pole. Just as some were offended by the price tag and substance of the porcelain dog, others may have been offended at the sight of Lucifer's Plastic Love Pump, but none would be offended at its price tag.

It simply cost its creator(s?) time and energy to construct and install with no thought of monetary gain, especially from the public purse. Just like the beloved "Dude Chilling Park" sign that was clandestinely installed and later allowed due to public pressure and support, the Giant Beelzebub-With-a-Boner statue should be reinstalled as a piece of public art and serve as a reminder that art is in the eye of the beholder and nothing more."

SOURCE

Sign the petition here (Don't worry,  no blood required): CHANGE.ORG

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Devil Statue With Large Erection Erected By Busy Vancouver Road

(One horny devil)

"People in the Grandview-Woodlands neighbourhood were doing double-takes Tuesday morning after spotting a statue of satan erected along Grandview Highway near Clark Drive.

The large red statue, complete with horns and a tail, is anatomically “complete.”

The City of Vancouver says it’s aware of the statue, but did not commission it. City crews arrived just after 3 p.m. to remove the statue.

“The statue was not a piece of City commissioned artwork and consequently it has been removed,” says City of Vancouver spokesperson Sara Couper.

The site was previously home to a bronze Christopher Columbus commemorative statue, installed in 1986. The statue was moved to the Italian Garden in Hastings Park 10 years ago."

Watch video HERE


Squirrel Steals Baggy Of Drugs, Benny Hill Chase Ensues


In Syktyvkar (a city in Russia's Far North), a squirrel found a hiding place, from which it stole a packet of drugs. Three students and a former police officer eye-witnessed the incident.

The curious incident took place near School No.3, Interfax reports with reference to eyewitnesses.

The teens started chasing after the squirrel that was holding a packet of drugs in its teeth. The boys were running around screaming at the squirrel in the trees. Their behavior attracted the attention of a passer-by, who turned out to be a former police officer.

The man asked the boys to leave the squirrel alone. The students explained their interest in the squirrel by saying that the rodent was holding some packet in its mouth.

The man looked at the squirrel carefully and recognized the small bundle of red color, sealed on all sides. Such packets are usually used in drug dealing business to pack doses prior to selling them.

While the people were trying to understand the situation, the squirrel seized the moment and ran away, hiding among the trees. "We couldn't catch it, so we will never know where the packet will go and where it came from," the man said.

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Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Sleepwalker Walks Off A Cliff


Rescue crews say an Ohio man who was camping with friends in central Kentucky's Red River Gorge is recovering after falling from a cliff while sleepwalking.

Powell County Emergency Management told WKYT-TV (http://bit.ly/1puqDGb) that the group had set up camp near Grey's Arch Trail and the man's friends called for help after realizing that he was missing in the middle of the night.

Wolfe County rope technician John May told the station the Cincinnati man, whose name wasn't released, fell about 60 feet early Thursday and landed in an area with several large boulders.
He called it a "miracle" that the man survived. May said the camper suffered a head injury, a dislocated shoulder and a fractured leg, but he's expected to make a full recovery.

SOURCE